Being a Beginner in Adulthood
We spend so much of our lives trying to be experts—in our careers, relationships, and hobbies. But when did you last do something you were terrible at?
Lately, I’ve been diving into many something news, and let me tell you—it’s uncomfortable. I fumble. I overthink. I feel frustrated about not getting it right the first (or fifth or twelfth) time. I know that every time I push through that discomfort, I grow. But, damn, it is HARD! I went indoor bouldering a few weeks ago with my boyfriend. I was so nervous to climb these funky rock structures with only my hands, feet, and the chalk between my fingers. I kept thinking, ‘What are these people going to think of me on these yellow beginner courses while they are tackling expert black and purple runs?’ ‘I’m taking too long. Am I being judged?’
Truth is, no one is thinking that much about me and my skill level. They started on yellows at one point! Why am I so focused on the perception of others when I should be thinking, ‘Wow! I just tried something I’d never done before. How cool was that?!’
I do think social media has a play in this phenomenon. We want to show off our curated outfits, picture-perfect vacations, and meals, our workout sets and toned from pilates. There’s very minimal shown of the beginning stages of learning to crochet or videos of the first month of running as an avid walker. Well, there are some now but you get the point. It’s become too normal to only show the highlight reel of your life when the best moments are often the messiest.
As kids, we embrace learning because we have no choice. As adults, we have a choice—and too often, we opt for comfort over challenge. I’ve had some hard truths on this when it came to toxic romantic relationships and toxic work environments, but I’m not going to sit here while I write this, pretending I have it all figured out, embracing change with arms wide open. That’s bullshit. I cry, maybe a little too often, feeling like a failure or just plain awkward when I try my hand at something or don’t know what I’m doing at work. Let’s be honest; no one has it all figured out. But the greatest success in life isn’t staying in our lane; it’s expanding our minds, stretching our limits, and proving to ourselves that we are capable of more.
So here’s to the beginners, the learners, the ones figuring it out as they go. The ones who choose curiosity over ego. That’s where the real magic happens.
No one asked for this, but I’m sharing anyway. Here are some things I’m trying out, pretty mediocre at but am learning:
Film Photography
Painting with Watercolors
Mincing herbs
How to set boundaries
Not caring what others think of me
Setting time limits on my doom-scrolling
Making ravioli from scratch
Journaling my feelings
Giving myself more grace
Birds of Paradise yoga pose